Ashley’s millions

Yesterday the Sevco script writing team unleashed a new story line on us.

Even the best creative conclaves have sometime got to borrow from a previously published masterpiece of mirth.

This time they seem to have looked at Brewster’s Millions, a brilliantly funny movie starring Richard Pryor and John Candy.

Both of these hugely talented men have sadly passed away, but their hilarious legacy is in the can.

The two of them should have made more movies together.

The plot is simple enough.

Monty Brewster, a minor league baseball player, is challenged by an eccentric relative, who he did not know existed, to either take $1m upfront, or spend $30m within 30 days to inherit $300m.

At the end of the allotted time period the $30m must be gone and Brewster must have nothing to show for it.

He accepts the challenge.

The movie is all about his rollercoaster attempt to spend the $30m.

Today the might Glasgow Sevco have five new faces in the first team squad.

Kenny McDowall now has the services of Gael Bigirimana, Shane Ferguson, Kevin Mbabu, Remie Streete and Haris Vuckic.

It is an open secret that RIFC/TRFC have been desperate to get players OFF the wage bill, indicated by the sale of the very promising Lewis McLeod earlier in the transfer window.

Therefore the refusal to sell Dean Shiels and Nicky Law was puzzling.

The former has not really figured in the first team despite being on a handsome salary and the latter has made it known that he wanted out of the club.

Then there is the hint that Sevco are picking up at least some of the wages for the five Newcastle United chaps.

If this is true then Mr Ashley has just increased the wage bill of a football club that is dependent on life support loans from…err…Mr Ashley!

It is almost as if Big Mike would be happy if that £10 million loan was burned through rather quickly.

Mr Ashley is a shrewd man he does his homework and trys to control as many variables as possible.

I get that.

Let’s say that he knows that he will lose the vote at the Extraordinary General Meeting (EGM) and there is not much he can do to sway that in his favour on the day.

A fall back positon would be to render any EGM ‘victory’ for the rebels rather meaningless.

Now the Machiavellian Mr Ashley could do this by claiming the assets of the club before the meeting ever took place.

That can happen if that £10m loan is burned through rather sharpish and then Big Mike asks for his money back.

Of course there is no money to pay him back and the secured assets would be forfeit.

At the moment the initial £5m tranche must be about gone.

It will be an exciting twist to the storyline if his guys in the Blue Room can get through the second £5m in time.

In the end Brewster spent all of the $30m and inherits the vast fortune left to him by his eccentric relative.

As with all feel good movies the hero gets the girl at the end.

However it is clear to this writer that the script team working on this Sevco sitcom have not planned a happy ending for The People.

The immortal legacy of Sevco might be that the diverse clans of Planet Fitba are rolling in the aisles at their unending misfortune.

That certainly works for me.

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