Creative space and obedient stenography

It is a limitation of our species that we cannot be in two places at once.

Similarly, for the writer, it is impossible to be immersed in a major project and digitally attend to various spinning plates.

As of tomorrow for several weeks I will be largely gone from here.

A manuscript needs another shunt towards the finishing line.

I realise that the regular readers here will notice my digital absence and for that, you have my gratitude.

However, there really should be no need for this site.

The work that has focussed my attention for many years should have been more than adequately covered by the sports desks in Glasgow.

Instead, they looked the other way as they salivated at the merest thought of another morsel of succulent lamb.

In fairness, one of them called this out after the Whyte debacle.

It is a given that the stenographers did not adequately report on the Murray years at Ibrox and one of them trumpeted Whyte as a billionaire.

Since the new club was created in 2012, the succulent lamb crew have told The People pretty much what they wanted to hear.

This offering is an attempt to sketch out what might become salient in the coming weeks at Sevco.

Firstly, it is worth remembering that there is only one person in the Blue Room who has any professional experience of running a senior football club.

His view last Friday was that the SFA judicial panel’s ruling on the Cup Final aftermath resulted in the Ibrox club “dodging a bullet.”

Moreover, this senior employee referred to the idiocy of the lengthy club statement back then that appeared to approve of the actions of those Sevco fans who invaded the pitch at Hampden.

It can be read here.

With that in mind, he thought that upping the ante with this statement was entirely wrong-headed.

It is worth noting that the high-Level PR professionals at Ibrox are not on call 7/24 due to the cash crisis.

Consequently, the chaps in the Blue Room sometimes are forced to hand the club website over to an enthusiastic amateur.

Peace be upon him.

For the avoidance of doubt, such an arrangement is almost certainly not to the liking of the only professional football administrator in the room.

Meanwhile, the problems at Sevco are mainly of the nuts and bolts variety.

The issues around repairing Ibrox remain extant.

Also, the best-laid plans and all that comes to mind when I think of Mr Joey.

If the chaps in the Blue Room had hoped that the French-speaking midfielder would score an own goal during his period of suspension, then that has not come to pass so far.

I would not be surprised if the Admirable Warburton is not feeling a lot of love at his place of work now.

Of course, it is a results-driven business, but there might just be other reasons for his face no longer being the perfect fit.

The ex-City trader knows a distressed company when he sees on, and he can ask the wrong sort of questions of his masters.

Indeed, dear reader, it is these type of interrogatives that the stenographers should be asking right now.

However, as we know, they’re just not at that Level.

So, as I shuffle off to live in a world of entirely make-believe characters that I created, here are some pointers for the Off The Radar crew:

  • Put precise questions into The Rangers Press office about their club’s cash flow situation. Ask them if they are fully funded to operate for the rest of the season without any additional external finance.
  • Ask them if they have money NOW to meet payroll in November.
  • Ask them about the money that was borrowed to pay off the £5m ‘Ashley’ loan. Is it ring-fenced in a special account? Is it in the region of £6.25m?
  • Is that £6.25m due to be paid by mid-October 2016?
  • You should also put in a formal question to them about their current standing with HMRC.
  • Indeed, you could impress them with your award-winning precision by asking them about the last two-quarters of this year.
  • Quite simply have they met all of their remittances to ‘Hector’ in the last two-quarters of 2016?
  • Finally, if your questions are answered then question the answers. The procedure is called ‘journalism.’

Now, dear reader, I think I have been very helpful to the stenographer chaps with that list!

For the avoidance of doubt, I suspect that some of that award winning cabal will already know the answer to a few of those questions.

However, the answers are not at the required Level for them to appear in print.

Consequently, there is a need for me to continue to do this.

When Downfall was published in 2012, I had hoped that the embarrassment of missing the biggest scandal in the history of British sport would cause a sea change in the Glasgow sports desks.

If anything the succulent lamb culture is worse now than ever.

However, if real journalism were to break out in Scotland apropos the Ibrox fiasco, I would happily Do Walking Away.

In the last two years, I have had two newly written full-length plays performed to packed houses in Glasgow.

I would rather be doing much more of that than working a story that the sports desks in Glasgow should be all over.

It is beyond debate that the stenographers utterly missed the Rangers story in 2010 and 2011.

Now they are deploying the same obedient blindness towards Sevco’s rumbling financial troubles.

Working this patch is hugely time-consuming, and there is a creative opportunity cost for me.

I realise that this isn’t a pressing problem for the stenographer chaps.

Quite simply, they will never be authors or playwrights and obediently regurgitating a press release is probably their Level.

Moreover, providing a Samizdat translation service to their venal pro-Sevco pish isn’t my chosen role in life.

During my tranquil sojourn in a Sligo forest, my digital detox re-connected me to what I should be doing all of the time.

However, I believe that if I were to leave the stage completely at this juncture, then I might do Planet Fitba a great disservice.

Certainly, the traffic to this site would suggest that many thousands of ye drop in on a daily basis even when there isn’t a new post.

For the avoidance of doubt, the Sevco story is yet to reach a dénouement.

In the meantime your help in maintaining this site is invaluable.

Míle Buíochas.

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