Free advice and bad news in the City

I am happy to be able to bring you a further update on the recent foray into the Square Mile by two members of the Sevco High Command.

When they were in the imperial capital these two fine chaps sought out some Brotherly Love.

They wanted an expert opinion on the detail that the Holding Company Vehicle has with Rangers Retail Limited (RRL).

They could not afford to pay for this legal advice, so they were asking on behalf of a Poor Widow’s Son…

Fortunately, they found a chap who was willing to meet them on the Level and tell them things on the Square.

The expert opinion was that the RRL deal was air tight and that Ashley’s legal people had not missed a step.

Of course, this means that the Holding Company Vehicle will have to limp on for the next SIX years without any major retail income.

As we saw today, the Engine Room Subsidiary really could do with some help.

This news came as a real kick in the basket of assets.

However, the Brother was not finished.

He told them in pissing off Puma and 32 Red their brand had suffered reputational damage.

Consequently, the available pool of potential commercial partners was shrinking rapidly.

His free advice to them was to go back and think about building bridge and repairing relationships.

If I didn’t know any better I would think that they’re really fucked.

55 thoughts on “Free advice and bad news in the City

  1. Dastardly Mutt

    This financial expert didn’t recommend a friendly nomad nor a legal company who would happily undertake a brief from a global sporting institution to fight MASH and not even unfurl his Filofax and prevail upon a patrimony of billionaires worldwide at his finger tips, from whom just one would be open to mete out soft investments from capacious portfolios to these humble but tenacious gentlemen? No?

    I’m lost for words.

      1. The beekeeper

        Just voted for you on the Best International Football Blog

        good luck and I pray you are right about them being F****ED

  2. JT

    It’s bad enough you telling them they
    are fu_cked but one of their own in the
    Square Mile too.
    As Eugene said earlier I don’t know what
    I would prefer them going tits up or them
    staggering on as they are?
    Wait a minute, of course I do,
    Tits up it is !!!!

  3. Mr Smith

    Me thinks Phil’s strong language might be an indicator as to how ****ed they really are.

    If this is a case it might be Phil’s way of telling us we are about to see this result:

    Rangers 2, Admin 1.

  4. There is NO Old Firm

    Hilarity ALERT! Hilarity ALERT!

    Caution. ….Please wrap sides tightly in cling film before reading to avoid gut spillage.

    Here goes…… Matt Gilks reckons “Rangers” outplayed Celtic today and there is no gulf between the
    sides, and the 5-1 slaughtering at Celtic Park was a one – off!

    And there you have it. Sheer unadulterated delusion of the highest order. Or is it?

    Mr. Gilks……..Here are some realities for you.

    1) Today, you’re team was absolutely hammered, pummelled and run ragged by a far superior team. Despite the best efforts of a thoroughly disruptive referee who managed to give your side 3 times the amount of free kicks he gave to your opponents. He also is the only person who witnessed the game who thinks there was anything wrong with Sviacenko’s goal.
    2) I truly hope that you, your colleagues and your deluded manager do, in fact, believe there is NO gap between the two sides as that confirms you are all completely in denial on a grand scale, perhaps beyond any reasonable help.
    3) You may well be correct in your assessment that the 5 – 1 SLAUGHTERING is a one – off. However, this is more likely to be due to the reason your team may no longer exist when the next appointment comes around. If you do somehow manage to stumble on, rest assured, some mighty hammerings await you, and not just at the hands of Celtic.

    In fairness to yourself, it is quite likely you are not fully aware of the setting in which you currently ply your trade and may simply be toeing the company line in terms of media comment.
    You talk of “Old Firm”, well, it no longer exists! You see, it was a label attached to Glasgow Celtic and Glasgow Rangers, but the latter of these two went into administration in 2012, failed to exit administration by way of a CVA and are currently in the process of being liquidated. They do not exist, ergo, THERE IS NO OLD FIRM!
    You may or may not be interested to know that the comments attributed to you in regard to these matters may in fact not be held against you personally.
    All of Scottish football have long been aware of a rather peculiar slant within our sports press and it is largely ridiculed by the general public and certainly not regarded with any degree of credibility. Which is why we rely on people like Phil.
    Furthermore, of the press characters we often deride, there is one in particular who’s work is a constant source of hilarity and is almost universally dismissed as hogwash before it’s even been read.
    You may very well be a “victim” of these works, and I’m prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt on this occasion.
    Nevertheless, thank you for your hilarious, ridiculous assessment of Celtic v Sevco so far.
    Side splitting stuff, absolutely side splitting!
    No GAP???

    1. JimBhoy

      Warbler says there is little difference and ‘slim margins’. Mckay coming out with the same nonsense as well as Benny Hill. If you read most of their fan’s blogs they know the real truth.

      I watched the game again last night and Celtic had a good 13 chances at least, to their blocked shot and pass backs to Gordon.

      Broonie bossed the game from start to finish and the whole Celtic team squeezed Sevco into so many mistakes, regularly giving the ball away cheaply. Even with the ref’s help they were slaughtered.

      Anyone who analysed that game would come to the conclusion that it was more of a drubbing than the 5-1 game and had Sviatchenko’s goal been given as it should have then the scoreline would have been huge.

      Warblers substitutions were Sunday league coach naive that baffled even the commentary team. Their captain was caught out for the goal, National team class my erchie.! Dodoo crapped himself a couple of times. Garner is just a classless thug. Wee Barrie clueless. They are a disjointed mob who can only play against part timers.

      Not much going for Sevco on or off the pitch, the Gullibillies feeding off the on/off field PR nonsense and it is hilarious.

      1. Gaucho

        I checked their fans’ blogs to see if they really do ‘know the real truth’ …

        To my complete disbelief, I discovered instead that they’re having a ‘serious’ (to their minds) ‘debate’ about bringing back Jelavic, Bougherra, Vladimir Weiss, Allan McGregor, though they might not ‘let him’, cos he done walking away 😀

        Even worse, this ‘discussion’ is framed in the terms of whether the fans would ‘allow’ any of them back, some of them having deserted the sinking ship that was Oldco, rather than the players themselves having any say in such decisions, or the ‘club’ having either the cash or the wherewithal to either buy or pay them.

        Their hubristic entitlement really knows no bounds and, having spent just a few minutes in their ‘company’, I’m left with the distinct impression that these guys are genuinely stark raving bonkers.

        The only chink of light was that one wag asked if ‘the source close to Bougherra’ spreading the rumour was his shrink.

        No’ bad for a creamer, that wan.

        1. bennybhoy

          I had a look at the sweary sites, late on after the game yesterday, and I agree with Gaucho. Delusional doesn’t even come close. You get the odd one talking sense but the vast majority are the “we need investment”. “The teams a work in progress” and also there is a lot of hatred. I’m surprised Scotland’s finest don’t monitor these sites, definitely could fill the courts with these weirdos.
          Was at the game, nerve wracking, we had so much of the play, especially the second half. Thomo was at his best, as usual. Also, could not believe he booked Griffiths for kicking the ball into the fans when he thought the game was ended.

  5. iceman63

    Leaving aside the upcoming implosion and delusional continuation myth, I detected a fundamental mentality shift, on all sides today. This was not an Old Firm game. Rangers set up just like any other mid table side, seeking to contain Celtic accepting that they were second best, but hoping firstly to avoid a thrashing, and secondly, with a bit of luck and a Celtic off day to somehow snatch a draw or a fluke win. Their fans, similarly to other club fans, were happy enough with a single goal defeat, relieved that the score was not worse and pleased that their team had stuck ti their task against superior opponents for so long. Much of the SMSM coverage praised Rangers for plucky resistance and went into condescension mode praising underdogs for making a game of it. In footballing terms, all outside the Ibrox club now understand their present standing in the game. The only nonsense really came from Gilks and Warburton. I have no doubt Level 5 are on the case and by mid week the game will have been an evenly matched tussle which Celtic fortunately edged with a late winner, perhaps against the run of play.

  6. Donny Reila (@DonnyReila)

    Fornicated under Control of King …. Totally!!

    How much did Celtic pay to rent the home of the Mount Florida Ludge?

    Did the 5 Way Agreement make Sevco liable for the dead club’s football debts?

    Were the dead club fined (or ordered to pay compensation) for taking the cardigan back to Ibrox?

    Was it ever paid?

    1. Tripper

      Thing is because Se\/co are slipping further down the league then that means the gap is lessening , according to Mark Warburtons reasoning that is : )

      How is it Warburton can get away with such utter tripe and never be asked to explain himself ?

  7. Zeddy


    Just a thought

    Surely before SEVCO are allowed by the SFA surley the leaders of our game must ensure that they have compiled with the rules by being up to date with all taxes before renting out our national stadium.

  8. Alfie Birches

    Their degree of delusion is reflected by those posters and phone in callers who demand to see OHalloran get an airing………
    They simply don’t get it do the Year?

  9. John hughes

    Phil, there is no need for that sort of talk. We all know they are fucked.
    Using that sort of language is , despite being bang on the money , a bit beneath a scribe of your calibre.
    Ok, so we know they have no money, no water, no decent players, no history, no morals, no finance, no chance of qualifying for Europe within the next 5 years but they are however the People.
    Where is big Dave ? Where are the Ursine triumvirate? All very quiet.
    Club 1872 must be cancelling their direct debits and redirecting them to Scottish Water, just to keep the tide marks off their brass necks.
    Hail hail.

  10. Eugene Hendrie

    I must admit as the misses and goalie heroics went on I feared the worst, we had all seen this movie before, an honest referee mistake with two minutes to go!! This really is a win win situation for many of us, 1/ they die, this time though with a decent burial, or 2/ they continue to to stagger on with pain and misery. I honestly don’t know which one I’d prefer!

  11. joe mccormack

    Warburton is totally delusional with the gap is shrinking guff.

    It must be catching as Gilks reckoned that the Ibrox giants had outplayed Celtic today.

    Much of the bears post match chat centres around the January transfer window when they obviously expect an injection of cash that will allow Warbs to bring in some quality.

    Such is the fantastic job being done by Level 5 and the media that the bears have no inkling that financial matters are on the agenda again…….and not in a good way.

    There is not a single player in their squad who would get into the Celtic team……not one.

    They don’t have a sellable asset who would bring in more than a few hundred thousand pounds.

    Allegedly £1.8m has been squandered on a striker who can’t get a game. None of the summer additions are setting the heather on fire.

    Neither of the two marquee signings are likely to kick a ball again this season and Rossiter is again absent without explanation.

    Brendan will strengthen in the next two windows to make CL qualification next season less fraught and bring another £30m to the table.

    I can see a situation where Warburton and his backroom staff will remain in situ, just like Joey, because there is no money to pay them off.

  12. Professor Pat Pending.

    Their only hope is some deranged Chinese Billionaire Investor appearing on the horizon, to
    take this fantastic opportunity to get his hands on a platinum plated investment.

    Going rate 85p. Price adjusted to take Brexit into account.

  13. Herbal Derby

    No takers on the link between Queen’s Park and the current Sevco ‘board’ of over-investors?

    It starts with an L, but it’s not Liquidation …

    1. Hunny Blue Blue

      Ah, that’s lovely, gerry, a beautifully crafted, delicate and immaculately presented statement of your innermost, deepest emotions.

      Do you do this writing lark for a living or was this just a fluke ‘one-off’ kinda thing ..?

    2. Trotsky's Tortoise

      Upset Gerry? Maybe you could sit in a dark room watching the EBT brigade achieving 9inarow and reminisce about the good ol days when the dead club gave you some pleasure. Alternatively, you could stick on your Defenders of William, Sash Bash cassette and while the hours away about your misplaced superiority.

      We welcome the chase, and mind the gap. Know Surendda.

  14. Mr Mah Jest Stick

    Cheers for the update, Phil.

    On a technical note, has any other reader had problems with viewing replies?

    A lot of old thread’s comments have disappeared and this page says there’s 4 replies, which aren’t to be sen when i either scroll down or click on the link.

    Also, coiled your tech guy reintroduce the comments edit facility, as that was a very nifty feature?

    Cheers, HH-

  15. Cloggy

    Partaking in an airborne consenual sexual congress may yet be the answer.
    Someone with deep pockets, and giving a flying fuck could save them.!

    Only kidding.

  16. Mr Mah Jest Stick

    Maybe Paul Murray could auction his hairdo.

    There must be a load of baldy fellas in the Square Mile who would pay handsomely for a quiff like that.

  17. GFD

    I like thinking they’re fucked. They deserve to be fucked. On the other hand, I’m a little drunk and happy to have watched us “hump” sevco 1 nil. I deserve being drunk and happy lol

  18. SucculentLambStinks

    Cheers Phil my thoughts too. Skelpt again today. Not a shot on goal. Not an ice cubes hope in hell of continuing in business. No credit line apart from Chinese investors charging 40% interest.

  19. Trotsky's Tortoise

    The financial gap could become a chasm at this rate nevermind on the playing field as shown again. When will Warburton show some dignity in defeat and stop rabbiting about how TRFC are not far behind Celtic? He clearly doesn’t take defeats very well.

    1. Crosshaven

      Crap being said about the gap narrowing after Celtic only managing a 1 – nil victory today.
      The facts are that the vast chasm still remains. Celtic’s had plenty of chances today and either they were just off target or thwarted by Giles having a really great game.

      The deluded are screaming for more player investment at Ibrox in order to compete but ignore that there is no money to do so.

      The League Cup has not been a lucky tournament for Celtic so I hope that they land it this year.

  20. Gav

    Phil, I don’t think you are being overly explicit in your determination of the seriousness of the predicament in which the Sevco-Rangers tribute organisation find themselves. Therefore, in an attempt to clarify matters, in the most unambiguous of terms, would you agree that they are unequivocally, and without stay of execution, fucked, or merely temporally financially fucked but with the promise of over-investment by the great King, may yet rise from the ashes of relegation fodder to secede to their rightful place of mid-table respectibilty fucked, but still existing?

  21. Bill Darby

    Quality polis Phil. We know that this shower are not capable of building anything resembling a “relationship”. The future is bright and it’s not orange!

  22. DS


    22/10/2016 Payment Data Update Received
    Credit Limit Cash Transaction

    Rating History
    22/10/2016 27 High Risk
    15/04/2016 37 Moderate Risk

    Limit History
    22/10/2016 £0
    15/04/2016 £120,000

    This was posted on KDS earlier which was apparently taken from a Credit Rating Agency, obviously as is its not fully public information we can’t check the accuracy but if its true, then its looks bleak for them.

  23. Shiltrum

    For them to repair any damage will cost. I don’t think they have the resolve to do the right thing too much baggage being dragged along the roads they travel on.
    By the By when you say F***** do you mean in this instance or the Big Tomolie.

    Keep up the good work.


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