Just another day in Sevco

There was a meeting of the Sevco High Command yesterday.

The Admirable Warburton made a perfectly reasonable request for transfer funds.

However, an immaculately coifed factotum questioned the efficacy of any such spend.

The conversation was then steered to the subject of the Engine Room Subsidiary’s world class scout.

Apparently, there are certain Key Performance Indicators for this chap.

It was the view of a magnificently maned denizen of the Blue Room that they are not being met.

I’m afraid that there is now a high-Level stenography warning in place apropos the vast equity within the Sevco squad.

Expect several Ibrox players to be bigged up by the usual Off The Radar suspects.

With precious little in the way of revenue coming into Sevco over the winter break, a sale of a player would be very handy.

They are in the market for loan players where the other club pays all of the costs.

Whatever it takes and all that.

What is interesting about the conclave yesterday is that I understand that Mr Stewart Robertson was not in attendance.

However, I’m sure he is very happy at the Holding Company Vehicle and isn’t for one second considering his position.

57 thoughts on “Just another day in Sevco

  1. avidspectator

    Do you think this song will make it to No31 in the download charts? If it does it might offer some cheer to Joey Garner. I’ll bet he could do with some cheer right now. Meanwhile we can laugh at the economies forced on day to day activities by the fact that King has been singularly unable to find the key to his mythical warchest.

    You’re skint. Aye you know you are, you’re skint.
    You’re skint. Aye you know you are, you’re skint
    You’ve got no dough at all
    And just to show us all
    You sent wee Joey G to A&E

    Should be sung to a well known kiddies song “If you’re happy and you know it”

  2. Noel Skytrot

    I see the vanguards of thar kulchurrrr are spouting more nonsense as per. The poor souls are feeling persecuted by the use of a couple of words. They obviously don’t do irony. Mental.

  3. sligojoe

    What’s happened to Mr Respect these days?

    The hat started off as the Uriah Heep of Scottish football and now??

    Didn’t take long for him to “assimilate”.

    1. Mr Mah Jest Stick

      He’s turned into a Uriah Heap of Nonsense, who hasn’t once shown Celtic the respect they deserve for their 3 outstanding performances against his wee team so far this season,

      If the 5-1 game was ‘never a 5-1 game’ what does that make the last match, when Celtic could have had at least another 4 goals?
      (Ditto the Hampden semi final.)

      Instead, they blame Kenny Miller for hitting the post, rather than talking about how they were played off the park for most of the game.

      As for the VB statement, I laughed out loud when I read it.

      These are the same people who spent every day of their lives on the streets of Glasgow telling me, and anyone else who didn’t think like them, that we were ‘nothing but dirty Fenian Taig Tarrier bastarts’, 5 words which offend me to this day, but which I still would never equate to any form of ‘genocide’, even though genuine physical threats and aggressive intimidatory behaviour often accompanied them.

      A verbal form of ethnic hatred, maybe, and shamelessly unvarnished and unfettered ignorance fed through a twisted system of misguided supremacist hubris, but I always found it funny to see such stupidity attempt to lay claim to being ‘The Chosen People.’

      But I suppose a Victim Myth is inevitable when you realise that all your imagined ‘supremacy’ was all just a great big lie, as even the most durable human mind doesn’t cope too well with the realisation that it’s been taken for a fool all its life.

      So, despite all that, I always end up pitying them in their mad delusions, which is probably the worst insult they could ever receive.

      They’re like a man with a fork in a world of soup.

  4. Zeddy

    Having seen reports of Sevcos latest crock queuing in A&E I’m sure the world’s best talents are desperate to sign.

    They’ve heard about the breakfast !!!!

  5. There is NO Old Firm

    Sheer class…

    Brendan Rodgers….”I’d like to congratulate both teams for an excellent advert for Scottish football in very difficult conditions. High winds, driving rain, very tough conditions. But they kept trying to play good football.

    Sheer embarrassment…..”Not interested, with respect my full focus is Rangers”.

    I obviously don’t need to identify the rank amateur, whingeing little loser.

    However, just in case he’s looking in for any hints and tips. …..Psssst, you’d better re-focus mate, Rangers don’t exist!!

  6. Professor pat pending

    Actually, the fans of the new entity are now clinging to the assertion that the club should no spend any money in January as players are apparently ” over-priced” at this time of year.

    Fantastic stuff, but purely in keeping with their astonishing refusal to remove the red white and blue blinkers they all got for Christmas 4 years ago.

  7. sligojoe

    Just in case anyone thought that Chris Sutton’s favourite Christmas present this year was a copy of Dale Carnegie’s 1936 best seller “How to win friends and unfluence people”, it wasn’t. As the heading for his column in the DR today attests……

    “Celtic must now finish Rangers for ever insists Chris Sutton”

    Get aff that fence chris.

    1. Yogithebear 67

      Sligojoe – If not already done so, you must watch the You Tube offering of Chris Sutton totally destroying Big Fat DJ’s pandering to all things Sevco. “Tell the truth Derek – stop being a mouthpiece for them” – “Derek you are an embarrassment” etc etc. Hilarious

    1. Alfie Birches

      Open views,
      Not to mention the Billy Boys and Build My Gallows Hgh and the Supremicist phrase borrowed from the KKK, ….We Are The People.

      Vanguard Bears fail to see the irony in that blog when applied to Ireland .

      For their information, outlawing sectarianism and racist hatred of people simply because they are RC or of the Irish Diaspora is not oppression, but suppression of oppression. There is a difference.

  8. John Fallon

    These last 3 results are a reply from our chief DD, after they broke the rule`s at Hampden, about manners, they will live to regret there dancing and singing, keep up the good work Brendan and bury them for good, ha ha Daily Retard saying this morning if GLIB 1 not giving money HE SHOULD SELL how much for they`re deluded, wonder if bank manager give me £2 loan to buy a SCRAP YARD COYBIG

  9. caine7sfg

    Happy new year to you and all the users of your blog..

    Yet again the dignified Warbs can’t bring himself to say they were outflanked by a better team, yet again he puts it down to the fault of his own, so in the world of the govan massive, we didn’t win, no sirreeee…they gave it away…. I seem to remember somewhere back in history the wise old fox Sir Wattie saying the better team always wins….oh well it must be the bible according to bomber brown they read these days…

    Yes another grubbing for the entitled ones, another embarrassing episode for the quintessentially British outfit renting the old and now dead rangers stadium, how long can it go on? I think the best way to summarise the entire situation is just to say, “it’s great to be alive”…..

  10. Alfie Birches

    I want to compliment the Celtic fans who attended the Sevco game yesterday and immaculately respected the minutes silence, in the face of scandalous intimidation.

    Only seconds before the whistle blew for the minute silence the Peepul were singing about wading up to their knees in the blood of Catholics, yet demanded respect be shown to their dead. Many Celtic fans who would have been subjected to sectarian and racist abuse and attacks may have been tempted to break the silence as a protest against the 40000 Sevco fans who sang the Billy Boys commemorating the memory of a racist, bigoted anti Semitic thug who was a member of the KKK.
    Why couldn’t the fans of Sevco show respect for their OWN dead by desisting from giving those present and the millions on the global TV audience a rendition of their anthem of hate, sectarianism and racism.

    I also notice that there were 3 arrests and Police Scotand are quite pleased with themselves ver this, however, despite the Law against such, they ignored the 40000 singing their song of bile, which must offend any reasonable person.
    Could they not find it in themselves to arrest even one, even one, as an example to the rest?
    What Police Scotland and the Scottish Government fail to realise is that their inaction with regard to this issue, while arresting anyone singing a song about the Irish fight to free their own country from British Imperialism, presents the country as condoning racism, sectarianism and ante semitism.

    1. Not IF You Know, But When ...

      Oh, they don’t fail to realise it at all, Alfie, they know it damn well, this is a deliberate policy that is written into the Brititsh Ruling Classes DNA.

      They’ve made sure that everyone knows their place since way before even the Industrial Revolution, and they know damn fine how it’s coming across.

      The myth of the tolerant Brits is just that, a fabrication made up by those same people to deflect from their rampage of slaughter throughout history in the name of Queen, King & Country and the idea that the Scots and Irish were on the frontline of every battle ever fought on behalf of ‘Great’ Britain is NOT because they were the bravest, as they like to tell us, but because the Scots & Irish were the most expendable cannon fodder they had to hand.

      And this is them letting us know that it’s still the case today.

      1. Alfie Birches

        The fact that we have to comment on this on. Blog confirms exactly what you say, NIYKBW.
        A sad reflection on UK society. Still second class citizens.
        We have said it time and time again……trying singing that song but substitute the N word for the F word and see what happens.

        1. Not IF You Know, But When ...

          With a Celtic scarf on, outside Ibrox …

          That’ll confuse the local bobbies no end 😉

  11. tony rome

    Hi Bhoys

    Just on the sight of Garner in A&E surely any young footballer expecting a lengthy career in the game would be looking for private medical insurance (not to be mixed up with national insurance) to be paid by their employer. This just adds to my idea that the only players they can hope to attract are has been’s and never was.

    Happy New Year Phil so far i’m lovin it.


    1. Mr Mah Jest Stick

      What’s all the fuss about here?

      Isn’t Queen Elizabeth always moving her pawns around from one Death Star to another?

    2. Steve

      Should be a bigger talking point , i can’t remember or imagine celtic sending a player to A&E with a damaged shoulder?

      1. Mr Mah Jest Stick

        I agree, but one of Queen Elizabeth’s ‘Govan Death Stars’ sitting in Queen Elizabeth’s Govan ‘Death Star’ A&E was too good a blag to miss.

        Because what is Sevco, if not an accident in an emergency ..? 😉

  12. Westcraigs

    Highlight from the game for me was the pure joy of a Muslim and a Jew celebrating the second goal.
    Nothing brings people together like sports.
    We are Celtic and we welcome everyone.

  13. fred1888

    Happy new year Phil.

    so the gap is 19 points just now and lets be honest here, It is only going to get bigger. When do you think the Sevco fans will turn on King, If ever at all?

    I really do think Aberdeen will pip them for 2nd place.

  14. joe mccormack

    The picture of Garner sitting in an NHS hospital queue should be an eye opener for even the dumbest of the dumb.
    Skimping on private health insurance for professional football players where injury is a common occurrence is evidence that the biscuit tin is well and truly empty.
    Begs the question what other bills are not being paid?
    Anyone who would attract a transfer fee, and there’s not many, will be sold in January to keep the lights on.
    A bad result in the SDI court case will be the final nail in the coffin though another version will undoubtedly rise from the grave, perhaps this time not being run by RRM.

    1. Cortes

      Private sector hospitals have zero ability to provide emergency care. The fact Garner had to wait at A & E speaks volumes about the professionalism of the triage team at the Southern (i refuse to call it otherwise.) I broke my shoulder right outside the old Vicky years ago and had to wait as much more seriously injured people took priority. That’s life.
      PS – little known fact: most surgeons bumping up their retirement funds by doing easy ops at places like Ross Hall wouldn’t dream of having surgery there themselves or for their families…too much scope for SNAFUs.

  15. There is NO Old Firm

    I’m a wee bit concerned for Leigh Griffiths after yesterday. His minor jape may prove to be very costly. Now that the full might of Police Scotland are on his case he could find, after an in depth inquiry with the Sevco high command, that the only £75m goalpost in world football has been irreparably damaged and absolutely destroyed by the tying on of a woollen scarf. On top of that, as there are 2 sets of goals on the pitch, he’ll have to supply a matching pair! Total bill could be £150m +VAT! Although, the last part may be of no interest to Sevco.
    Meanwhile in the real world, I’d genuinely like to thank Sevco for the season so far. Thanks for the hilarity, the constant laughter you bring through side-splitting press statements. Thank you for shoving old Rangers players who never played for Sevco e.g Novo, Spackman etc in front of broadcast media to pretend there’s a connection between the two clubs. Thanks for mega laughter inducing suggestions that you have players attracting £2m bids. Thanks for playing Wilson, Kiernan, Tavernier, Hill…..In fact, all of them.
    However, a very special thanks is reserved for the best gift you’ve given Scottish football.
    The most inept, disrespectful, unsporting, contradictory, waffling garbage manager perhaps to ever grace our game…..so a massive, massive heart felt thanks for giving us Warburton.
    Please don’t die yet, the laughter is too good. …..but, if you really must, well, for almost 5yrs of total hysteria……THANK YOU.

      1. michaelcraven1


        Thanks for all the Truth that repeatedly fills these pages,without Phil keeping us updated what then?I don’t even want to contemplate that one.✅

        Happy New Year to You and yours Phil,and all the Worldwide Celtic Family,

        In Brendan We Trust.HH

  16. jc

    I think BR may make a few signings this window in preparation for champions league.

    That alone will be enough to set the Klan on fire!

    In the shadows, get used to it.

    Happy New year Phil


    Happy new year to you & the family Phil, 1 counted 3 offsides where we were through on goal & sky didnt feel the need to show different angles & i reckon the 3 were onside,& one where they were allowed to go through on goal which Gordon saved & then the ref brought it back & gave them a free kick,if I didn’t know any better I would say I was paranoid,on a different subject why would Celtic feel the need to subsidise Parks of Hamilton when there are other bus companies out ther who are not affiliated to that lot,hh

  18. Mach1

    Happy 2017 all. Phil has worked tirelessly setting the new year sports news agenda. I raise my glass to you. Slainte!

  19. Sugar Ray

    The overinvestment had better come soon or the sevco fans will not be happy. I think Aberdeen may add a player or two and will be stronger in the second half of the season. Maybe the new Hearts manager will bring in some new faces to strengthen too. Can sevco cling on to second place? Should be interesting. What a time to be alive!

    Happy New Year all.

  20. Yourhavingalaugh

    The Celtic slump continues,Brendan is struggling to bring us out of it,I fear for his future at Celtic,eh haud oan a minute.
    HappyNew Year to one and all,things can only get better.

    1. Jason Coyle

      It’s a difficult time being a Celtic fan, I feel we shall never get out of the current slump in form that has us Only 19 points ahead at thr turn of the new year and after only 20 games. I fear that by the 30 game mark we may only be ahead by about 25 points at the very least. How shall we survive this? Hahahahahaha HH

  21. Mr Mah Jest Stick

    Thanks for the timely update, Phil, more happy haplessness from Ibrox to add to our general sense of glee-filled good cheer after playing Sevco off the park again today.

    Best quote surrounding the game, from Paul over on CQN:

    ‘Big Jozo must be wondering when kick-off is, he didn’t have to break sweat.’

    Easy easy!

    Happy New Year to one and all!

  22. joe mccormack

    Actually if Barrie McKay performed like that every week I would have him at Celtic Park to replace Roberts when he goes back to City.
    He’s the only saleable asset they have…worth a punt at £1m?….King would bite our hand off.

    1. Veritas

      Watched him at Cappielow for a season a few years ago and he was hopeless ,largely anonymous ,as he is in a lot of TRFC games I am told ,very average and lightweight apart and apart from one Hollywood goal .contributed basically F all to the cause .
      That said he was in a very poor team at the time .
      £1m ? Phew! .cant see it ..would be a waste of money for CFC IMO . replacement for Roberts ? never in That class in a million years ..another Scott Allan at best . He will have the odd good game as he apparently had today and score the odd good goal that’s about it
      2 very good points you bring out though Joe
      CFC shouldn’t rule out now buying TRFCs best players particularly the young Scots .and
      Who ARE the best young players in Scotland for BR to buy outside of the CFC youth system ?.
      PS .for what it’s worth I would buy the Killie boy Coulibaly??? All day long before McKay

      1. papa.dr

        Hello! Hello! Just wait till the full toilet enquire is launched and the attempted arson at Ibrox is highlighted. Scented tea-candles indeed.

    2. Malc

      I was going to say, I wouldn’t be disappointed if Brendan was to chuck a few quick at Mordor if McKay was to join us in return…

      Happy New Year Phil, and thanks for the premier news blog.

      1. Mr Mah Jest Stick

        You mean Celtic should finance Sevco now we all know that corruption has turned the Scottish game into a laughing stock?

        Why not go the whole hog and just buy out the whole Ibrox operation, lock, stock & two smoking barrels?

        I’m sure CFC could afford the couple of quid.

  23. sixtaeseven

    Happy 2017 Phil – keep up the good ( and essential work ).
    Talking about sale of TFC players being handy…

    Ther last RFC player to be bigged up (notably by SMSM):
    “On 31 December 2014, Lewis Macleod moved to Championship side Brentford for a fee later reported by The Sunday Post to be £850,000, with add-ons raising the amount to up to £1.3 million.”
    “Rangers left me no choice but to leave the club I love… they didn’t try and keep me”

    That sum of money kept them afloat last year… who will it be this year ….?

    1. Lennon

      Yes Mr Warburton paid over the odds for an unproven but promising youngster
      A signing that cost him his job but paved the way for his current one
      That transfer stinks

  24. sligojoe

    Well, I didn’t have to wait long for the minutes of the latest meeting!

    Glad to hear that it’s still business as unusual at Sevco.

    I was listening to Snyde 1 Super duper scoreboard earlier and I’m pleased report that the delusion continues.

    So, it’s as we were for 2017.

    Suits me.

    Many thanks, Phil.

    PS: Looking forward to getting my hands on a copy of your new book.


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