Professional cleaning services required

There is a meeting of the Sevco High Command this morning.

I would not be surprised if there is a re-visiting of a discussion that was had yesterday by two of its dignified members.

My information is that there was a quintessentially British discussion between a serious professional and an immaculately coiffed factotum.

The latter was very unhappy about the decision to speak to the press apropos the excellent Mr Graeme Stuart Murty.

The magnificently maned functionary was channeling the anger of Mr David Cunningham King apropos this unauthorised statement.

However, the serious professional had ready-made answers to all the Churchillian bluster.

“There is no money to employ anyone else” was the seriously professional reply given.

Moreover, the serious professional reported that his phone had been hopping with calls from concerned sponsors.

They wanted to know what the hell was going on at the Holding Company Vehicle.

Consequently, the serious professional decided that it was important that a message of stability was sent out.

Hence the confirmation of the very excellent Mr Murty “for the foreseeable future” as manager of the Engine Room Subsidiary.

This answer did not satisfy the immaculately coifed functionary and he then re-iterated that Dave was seriously unimpressed that this statement had been made without his say so.

To which I’m told that the serious professional replied:

“Yeah, it’s a bit frustrating when you don’t know what’s coming out in a statement. Isn’t it?”

Silence was the reply to that observation and then the serious professional added:

“I’m trying to clean up your mess here”.

My information is that the Ibrox Three will forgo an Employment Tribunal and go straight to court.

I think we can call this a developing story…

45 thoughts on “Professional cleaning services required

  1. joe mccormack

    Aberdeen can go 6 points clear, make that 7 with GD, before Rangers kick a ball at the weekend.
    With a visit to the East End just around the corner and then the split there is every chance that they will be in free fall and could finish 5th or 6th.
    Their boards have now moved their position from accepting 2nd to taking 3rd or 4th being ok, as a Celtic treble will open up a Europa Cup place for the club finishing 4th.
    If a UEFA FFP compliant St J’s finish 5th in this scenario I can’t see them standing idly by whilst the Ibrox club has their Euro passport stamped and delivered by the SFA despite non FFP compliance on at least two criteria.
    If the Ibrox 3 get to court and win things could get a little messy as any settlement will be a football debt and will have to be paid proto, , unlike the SFA and SPFL fines levied on Oldco which took years to settle……in fact it’s not clear whether the SPFL fine has been paid, or offset against TV monies, such is the transparency from our football authorities.

  2. Mark Cunningham

    I seriously doubt anyone with any credibility will take the job before they come to Celtic Park in a few weeks. Who’d want a spanking from us in the first days and weeks of the job? It would hardly help win the angry mob over. Let Murty take the hit then move in.

  3. and connelly makes it three

    as was the case with the army of trades that were going to work for free [ and never did ] the volunteers have to be covered with insurance , training , ppe , h + s regulation etc

    will the powers that run our game or the h+s executive ask the precise nature of their tasks and intervene

    and how good would your temperament have to be to interface with an angry billy boy.

    1. Mr Mah Jest Stick

      Ach, it’ll be grand, sure, they’re ‘passionately communicative’ and ‘love to talk’ and one thing you can always say about an angry Billy Boy, they are equally partial to reasoned, a priori, discussion and debate.

      In fact, it’s the only thing they know, from Aristotle to Archimedes, Heidigger to Plato, from Socrates to Nietzsche, to Kant and beyond, the primal, bloodthirsty hordes are quickly calmed down from their flagellating high horse with a deft flourish of ‘Je ne sais quoi’ and ‘I think therefore I am.’

      Or this, from Russell himself

      ‘The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.’

      Seem familiar, Billy ..?

  4. joe mccormack

    Volunteer stewards, what next?

    Asking fans to donate tea, coffee, bovril, pies, pizza to an Ibrox food bank to be sold on match days, the catering outlets of course being staffed by more pro bono volunteers.

    Long gone are the days when the knighted one would wind up Celtic with his clarion cry…………For every £5 Celtic spend, HBOS will spend £10!

  5. Noel Skytrot

    Ibrox is the modern Augean Stables…full of bull shit. It’s not professional cleaners they need maybe around 10 Hercules types to square it up. I see you put a picture of jelly and ice cream up on yer Twitter feed. Whats the script, Phil?

  6. The real anton rogan

    Accordijg to some sevcoites, major investment is just around the corner. I suppose when you are skint, any cash is welcome

  7. History Repeating

    Rangers caretaker Graeme Murty has had open and honest talks with players,the exact same as Mark Warburton. Continuity is important.

    Although it doesn’t sound as though any players have been suspended and told to stay away from Murray Memorial Park.

    I wonder if he will stand outside the door during Administration as the accountants tell them of 40% wage cuts to end of season. Like Ally. And “comfort” them, as Ally did, on the news as they leave the room.

  8. Peter

    Anyone know what is the earliest it could be expected for them to get a court date? Just curious, because this is exactly the kind of unexpected type of self-immolation act by King & cohorts that I suspected would finally tip the scales on their continuing existence.

    Its always the law of unintended consequences that catch out idiots.

    Court costs plus a few million in owed contracts is probably a bridge too far for the ones on the board actually reaching in their pockets……

  9. Kerrygirl

    When will this schyster be called out ,another book phil is required hold the so called Scottish journalists feet to the fire once more

  10. SammyDee

    So now we have 3 amigos asking for £1m+ and of course their lawyers fees and RIFC defense fees will be on top – is that pushing £4m now ? If tribunal skipped – court fees are higher all round.

    Gers “thelawman” needs to remember Chelsea doctor case – 1 day in court and was settled – she earned £250,000 a year and asked for 10+ years compo as she may never get similar job again.

    Who will employ Warburton as manager after Kings claims ? If Kings claims dont stand up in court King burdens fans which huge unneeded debt….

    What will come out in court , emails, etc etc

  11. Frank

    They’re going to the court because the employment tribunal limits their compensation to a maximum of £78,962. So the damages being sought must be quite significant. The pursuers will seek to have that ringfenced.

    The folks from the Wi-Fi suppliers lost their claim to have their possible damages ringfenced, but Warburton etc may have the advantage of possibly knowing a bit more about the Ibrox finances than the Wi-Fi folks.

  12. Kwaj

    Phil your reporting of the misdoings is inspiring so after reading your latest offering I thought I would provide one myself. Hope you like..

    Bear and Grin

    Oh quite some time ago
    When the money did flow
    And for each 5 that we had they spend 10
    They cheated and lied and of course they deny
    So we just had to Bear it and Grin

    Talk of 10 in a row
    And the treble to go
    Was stopped in it tracks, on a Whim
    Cause the bunnet appeared
    And the debt disappeared
    We finally started to win

    So a few years go by in the blink of a lie
    And the truth that’s uncovered denied
    As we hear oh alas, that the old-co has passed
    In the St Valentine’s Day massacre!
    The Green and Whyte years were a joy to endure
    Now the King is on top of this throne
    Under the bus is the prize of the day
    For the ones that will not atone

    We are now present day
    And the Celtic do play
    In a fashion that’s hard to curtail
    Though the zombies have tried
    And we know they have cried
    When Hunskelper has something to say
    3 goals in one game by the way!

    I am yes a Tim never more proud to say
    We are playing great football the Celtic way
    Talk of 10 in a row and treble to go
    I now simply just look at a Bear and Grin

  13. Haivers Blog

    What the “serious professional” should have responded was that operational matters were his responsibility & not within the remit of the holding company. Moreover, DCK should be keeping clear of football-related matters, or else the SPFL might take a dim view of things (as if).

  14. Sugar Ray

    “Immaculately coiffed factotum”
    “Magnificently maned functionary”

    Things are certainly looking hairy for sevco.

  15. joe mccormack

    My immediate thought was that there was an outstanding debt due to the company that normally supplied the stewards……..hence the need to take on pro bono guys who would get a freebie pass into the game instead of a wage.

    Come on, would anyone be surprised?

  16. caine7sfg

    How very apt the title to your post is given the latest story running in the Daily Tripe where they are selling the dream …Yes indeed you can be a Volunteer for the gers on match day and get to see the game free, ” key member of the team” Hahaha

    Are they looking to dispense with the steward and toilet cleaning bills during match day? I wonder …What is worrying is the offer to anyone who feels the have the skills, likes people, and can communicate.

    I would have thought this would have an impact on the insurance and match day safety of the patrons when you have untrained novices who obviously would only see things the rangers way looking after their own and visiting support. More alarming is that to be in a job where you are in contact with vulnerable groups and children you are required to have a discloser test carried out on your background to make sure you are suitable to be in such a position, at £60 a pop who is going to pay this? not Ibrox that’s for sure…Who is liable for these so called “Volunteers ” when they get it wrong…

    Amazing that the reality is there to be seen and yet all they can see is they are the peepal and they will be back…

    1. bennybhoy67

      Would`nt be surprised if Graeme Murty, was on this sort of deal.

      Volunteer manager, and watch them get humped on match day for free.

      VIP pitch side seat included.

  17. dancingbhoy

    How long before the Serious Professional develops a set of Cahones and says enough is enough?

    He looked uncomfortable in that interview on Rangers Media, I’m guessing that he himself is not convinced by the company line he was pushing.

  18. Oscar

    Dave King is a glib and shameless liar!
    That’s only what one judge called him became king was to smart for all of them and saved himself millions.
    Dave King drove down the share price of Sevco so he could buy shares cheaply.
    That’s because he wanted to out the snakes that were destroying our club, they were not real Rangers men.
    Would you stand by and watch someone else do that and still support him!
    No only Dave King because he is a real Rangers man and only wants best for the club.
    He said he has already spent £18 million on the club do you think he is telling the truth!
    If Dave King says he has spent that then we must believe him.
    So where was the £18 million spent?
    On playing staff and a lot of it has been spent on the stadium behind the scenes. Why would he spend that money out of his own pocket on a stadium he does not own!
    Because he is a real Rangers man.
    He sacked the management team because he didn’t want to pay them anymore!
    That’s because MW and his staff were shit and King seen them trying to jump ship so he played them at their own game and excepted their request to resign.
    But MW had a magic hat and was tipped to be the next England manager!
    His signings were shit this season so he brought it on himself.
    But he got absolutely no backing from the board and had to go cap in hand to out of work player’s or the lowest divisions to get the cheapest player’s possible!
    That’s because Dave King knew he was not the right manager to take Rangers back on top where they belong…..At the end of the day Dave King is a real Rangers man and everything he does is the right thing for the club. Everyone who doesn’t like it are just haters.

    There is no questioning a zombie. They know Dave King is their one and only last chance, they have to believe in him. No matter how you point it out to them that he is actually doing more harm than good they do not want to know, the reality is too awful to even imagine. I genuinely believe if this was any other club in Scotland they fans would have outed a man like that from their club once his lies were exposed after one season. Not that lot. But then again when you are a brain dead organization that believe you are the people and sing about being up to your knees in other human beings blood then what hope is there of trying to school them! Best let them either watch their new club die like the last or it carry on begging for hand outs season after season with a master puppeteer telling them he is spending millions in the background and his multi millions on the first team is coming soon. They will always follow follow blindly as long as the soundbites are good.

  19. Southside Bhoy

    Employment tribunals are capped at 1 year salary up to a max of £78,335. Makes no sense for the Govan Three to go there if they have been unfairly dismissed. Likelihood of a full £1M payout is improbable as they only have claim for their loss should they find other employment. A one year salary compromise agreement would be more likely leaving everyone free to move on.
    Stewart Robertson will no doubt have taken advice on this and it is a question of minimising the payout. It will cost, just a question of how much to clean the mess up. Normally this would take no more than 1 month to sort out.

  20. Jim Monaghan

    Ok, let’s have a little bit of fun!! Go into google and type these 4 words in this order………..
    “glib and shameless liar”

    Now tell me how far you have to scroll before you find the term associated with any one of the 7 billion people on this planet NOT called Dave King!!

    Try it!!

    Why are so many people believing his embarrassing statement, purely fabricated to try to influence a forth coming court case??

    I actually feel sorry for the average Rangers fan.

  21. John Fallon

    Said this before how DEEP is this hole that the Liars are digging for themselves, the more fibs coming out of Ibrokes the more deeper it gets, has anybody go a big ladder, or will fireservce be needed, it`s COMEDY CLUB time

  22. CarlJungleBhoy

    Sorry for taking your article out of context, Phil, but for more on the subject of “Professional cleaning services required” a quick look at the Rangers Media thread commenting on recent “Stadium Upgrades” (i.e. a few more tacky banners) makes for hilarious reading..

    It lists a whole range of genuine cleaning issues at the “crumbling.. depressing.. shite hole” (their words not mine) that is Ibrokes, ranging from “rust, dirt and grime” to “lime green with dirt and seagull shite” .. to “cob webs in the tunnel area” that suggests – taken literally – your title was 100% on the money (or lack thereof :).

    It would appear that large numbers of The Peepul think the Engine Room Subsidiary have been literally “papering over the cracks” and that the Big Hoose & it’s outbuildings are in dire need of a “power wash” and “spray paint”

    1. michaelcraven1

      Al try that again,
      It’s not the bigotdome that requires industrial cleaning,it’s the inside of their heads that need a thorough rid-oot by a qualified psychiatrist.Then said qualified psychiatrist would,in all likelyhood,need to retire himself,having seen and dealt with the inner-napper-workings of the hun.

      A sight no qualified professional should have to endure.

      Therapy anyone,Anyone?

  23. sonofhenryroot

    Mr Robertson is holding this club together; his efforts should at least be recognised if not appreciated.

    I am sure he will find suitable employment if he either falls out of further favour with the High Command or decides he needs to make an exit before his own excellent reputation is unjustly besmirched.

    1. Croshaven

      It would be great and his professional interest for Robertson to bail out now.
      Can you just imagine how the remaining conclave would flounder without his steadying influence. Enhanced comedy gold would surely follow follow.

  24. jmanuh

    Wow, quality Phil. It wont be long until The Rangers v as they should be known will have as many court cases off the pitch as they have played games on it. Probably with the same win ratio. Good until they come up against superior opposition.

  25. Cassandra's Cat

    This board could never be accused of playing tiki-taka – just lump it up the field and hope it doesn’t come back too quickly. If it does, get your excuses ready and blame someone else.

    Great to watch if you are not a loyal supporter of this shambles.


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