Stealth Squirrel flies over Ibrox

What do you get when you cross an underfunded hostile takeover with a glib and shameless liar?

I’m told that the Sevco High Command were in conclave on Friday the 23rd.

Sadly their seasonal get-together did not result in harmony.

Indeed one immaculately coiffed individual left in high dudgeon before the meeting formally concluded.

This was, in part, due to the fact that the only professional in the room was asking some difficult questions.

A key task in association football is to mind the nets, and in this meeting of the Sevco High Command, this issue enmeshed all of the other business.

Questions were raised about the report carried out into the state of the stadium.

Some directors asked if they had seen the full unexpurgated version or just an edited version.

A scaffolding company that had provided a service at Ibrox was asked by one senior employee to go and speak with the High Command about the issues apropos the roofs.

He simply stated that he didn’t want to be involved as he had no wish to become the subject of the ire of The People.

You see dear reader the Ibrox clientele do not like bad news about their beloved four-year-old club.


The senior employee in the room stated that the coverage of the state of the roofs could be dealt with if the full report was published and also shared with Glasgow City Council.

In the end, all roads led back to whether or not the esteemed chairman was a truthful person.

Perhaps it is timely to remind you dear reader of the opinion of Judge Brian Southwood, a High Court Judge in North Gauteng, and his learned colleagues in 2011:

“The court are unanimous in finding that he (King) is a mendacious witness whose evidence should not be accepted on any issue unless it is supported by documents and other objective evidence. It was remarkable that King showed no sign of embarrassment or any emotion when he conceded that he had lied to the (SARS) commissioner in a number of his income tax returns. In our assessment, he is a glib and shameless liar.”

Apparently questioning the veracity of the chairman was too much for one chap and he left the meeting rather upset.


I think it is now fair to say that there is a faction within the Sevco High Command who now share the opinion of Judge Brian Southwood apropos the truthfulness of Mr David Cunningham King.

As the old year fades out and 2017 dawns General Ashley is eagerly anticipating the Ides of March.

He’s back in court against the Holding Company Vehicle, and his objective should be clear to anyone with the facility of critical reasoning.

Therefore it should come as no surprise to you dear reader that the sensible faction within the Sevco High Command recently reached out to Planet Ashley.

I’m told that they did so without the knowledge of Mr David Cunningham King.

I understand that they hope for some kind of rapprochement with the Sports Direct Empire.

Of course, it would be hard to see any such accord happening with the current Chairman and his loyal factotum remaining in place.

For the avoidance of doubt, several board members are no longer satisfied with the verbal assurances of the Chairman.

Like Judge Southwood and his learned colleagues they now require supporting documentary evidence.

Which brings us back to that report on the state of the stadium:

I’m told that one director stated that page numbers would be appreciated…

Meanwhile, the Admirable Warburton prowls the night skies over continental Europe.

His aircraft was built to very specific dignified specifications for his exclusive use as Sevco supremo.

This amazing plane was built in a PR universe far far away.


Like many innovative aeronautical designs, this one takes inspiration from the animal kingdom.


Wherever it goes, it cannot be detected by radar.

It is almost as if he hadn’t got on a plane in the first place.


The Stealth Squirrel.

Incredible stuff…



41 thoughts on “Stealth Squirrel flies over Ibrox

  1. sligojoe

    Heard two TRIFC supporters (one young, one old) at work today, discussing Warbo’s chances of being in the job next year.

    Old fan says : I think he’ll be gone next year.

    Young fan : Aye? I guess it depends on how we get on in Europe.

    Oblivious, absoloutely oblivious.

  2. Ian Williams Swansea till I die

    We used to have a roof like theirs at the old Vetch, when the wind blew or we scored we got covered in rust from the old rotten tin sheets. Thank goodness those days are over, come on you JACKS. Good luck on NYE 🙂

  3. Noel Skytrot

    Does anyone know if Sevco are planning a minutes silence on Hogmanay for those sadly perished in 71? If so, let’s do our usual in remembering those who never returned.

  4. There is NO Old Firm

    Hee hee hee!
    Just glanced the back page of a Glasgow based rag lying on the supermarket shelf.
    Apparently Fulham are after Rob Kiernan of Sevco for £2m! Haaahhaaaahhaaahaaaa!
    These guys really need to stop this garbage immediately, they really do. Why don’t they understand they are driving customers away with this incessant nonsense?
    So, a player who is regularly blamed for their defensive deficiencies and appears to be broadly disliked by Sevco followers is supposedly generating enough interest in his abilities for someone to contemplate paying £2m for him?
    Who are they trying to kid?
    As it stands at present, a £2m bid would be enough to get the full Sevco squad.
    Perhaps that’s what the real offer was….”We’d like to offer you £2m for your squad, but you can keep Kiernan”.
    Remember when these guys followed Rangers (IL) they could find it in their psyche to almost hero worship very poor quality players like D.Johnstone, B.Ferguson, K.Boyd, T.Mcminn, J.McDonald etc. How bad must you be for them to not like you?
    £2m? Haaahhaaaahhaaahaaaa!

    Have a right good look at yourselves daily rags…..before it’s too late.

  5. John

    With regard to the roofing problem ,a bit of a lark and kidology at their expense is okay, but , every home game they play, the away support and indeed their home support , kids and all ,will be under those roofs, if a structural collapse were to happen I don’t think the number of injuries or for that matter possible fatalities would be in the low numbers. As the local authorities District Surveyor I had the dubious and as it turned out dangerous honour of condemning The old den at millwall ,before they moved, not an undertaking to be taken lightly , but completely required despite the implications. If the problem at ibrox is as bad as its thought it is , there is at least one professional taking a massive gamble with other peoples lives ,probably in the misguided assumption he is supporting them. I hope it comes to naught, for all our sakes. At the end of the day this isn’t about point scoring ,this is deadly serious shit.

  6. John

    Hi Phil Thanks for everything you have done this year and more power to you in the next . Glad for you had your clan around you for the festivities . All the very best to you and yours in the New Year. “Celt” so frustrating and boring , tune out then. Its hurting us more than anyone , what is and in what way .Their laughing at us . How can they possibly in any respect have anything to laugh about where were concerned. Look at their team and indeed their whole squad top to bottom , their management structure or lack of same , their infrastructure , in parts literally falling down about their ears (that’s if they actually own it ) the ever mounting legal obstacles in their way. And then there’s THEM. Catch a grip FFS.

  7. Allan

    its quite pathetic hearing Celtic fans constantly talking about Rangers (who apparently aren’t Rangers)

    I suppose it takes the heat off how pathetic they are every season in Europe

    1. There is NO Old Firm

      We’re not talking about Rangers, we’re laughing hysterically at all things Sevco.
      It was Sevcos’ first owner who changed their name to something with the word Rangers in it, but, due to the law, a mere name change doesn’t make Sevco become Rangers does it?
      Perhaps paying outstanding debts and accepting responsibility for collecting honours through barefaced cheating may indeed lead to a real re-emergence of original Glasgow Rangers.
      After all, the current chairman of the holding company stated his intention to resurrect them.
      What is he chairman of and what is there to be resurrected if they still exist?
      I know a poor little lad with “Elvis” in his name. His parents are idiots and they know they are idiots, however, they also know their son, whom they do love dearly is NOT Elvis!
      Meanwhile, I and many others will continue to laugh at all things Sevco…..not Rangers, as they are dead. Unless, of course, the Glib guy decides to overinvest around £250m
      What are the chances?

      1. Mr Mah Jest Stick

        What’s the sole link between Oldco & Newco?

        Paul Murray & Dave King, the latter of whom, at least, deliberatley voted against the CVA that could have saved the Oldco from extinction.

        There’s a bigger agenda at work here, or these two men would not, and stil should not, have been legally allowed to take their places on the current (bun) board.

        The sectarianism and bigotry must always have its focal point, and I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest to see the appeal go in BDO’s favour at the Supreme Court come March.

        When ‘civil unrest’ was mentioned, they were literally saying that the bulky Billy bully boys were gonna cause bloody social havoc if they don’t have a place to sing their collective songs of division and hatred, and no amount of appeals to any amount of courts will be allowed to change that.

        And even if the appeal does go against them, don’t be shocked to see this criminal joke of a ‘club’ continue on its merry way, blissfully unfettered by such minor inconveniences as Rules & Regulations, as they obviously never have, and seemingly never will, apply to either body, old or new.

        Cos it’s their baw, and they’re keeping it.

    2. Saint Marys Bhoy

      Comedy club Sevco (Rangers died in 2012) comes to mind….

      Craig Whyte, Charles Greene, the south african crook, Joey Barton, The roofs, Sports Direct….

      I could go on and on….

      My sides are spltting

      Comeone Allan, you wouldn’t deny all football fans a right good laugh, would you?

      By the way, it’s not only Celtic fans who are laughing at the show. Just saying!

    3. john mcghee

      Its still great but toget all they millions for getting there eh wonder when sevco will ever get their thats if they get bye the season bye bye to yous horrible people at ipox.

    4. Noel Skytrot

      Allan, we’re absolutely pishing ourselves at everything that has transpired since RFC went into free-fall. In fact, laughing at Sevco has now become a daily pastime for me and long may it run. From nonsense statements from fans, board members the manager etc it’s a bundle of hilarity. The likes of Phil, and John James keep us in the loop with all the lunacy that comes from Ibrox on a weekly basis. If you need cheering up I’d suggest you read the brilliant Clumpany or try Union Shark Jumps twitter feed guaranteed laughs as you all badly need some.

      and we dance to the music, and we dance to the music and we dance.

    5. Pat Nevins' Barnet

      Aw!! Billy Diddums!

      You have to be IN a competition to get knocked out of it… Ah well.. We’ll try again next year… And the one after that…. And…

    6. JhimmyBhoy

      Your “team” stiffed in excess of 260 bodies and still you won’t admit it. The equation is quite simple. Liquidation = death. It was reported in the Scottish rag/red tops almost 5 years ago. Don’t deride an institution whose dealings are all above board, transparent and available to any who wishes to peruse them. I would advise you to direct your efforts at your 4 year old club and ask questions of your chairman re financing, the condition of the roofs, the unpaid water bill, “overspending “, Mike Ashley, etc. If you receive any truthful answers to any or all of the above I would be delighted to see them within this blog.

    7. Johnny Snash

      If it’s ‘RANGERS’ you’re looking for, mate, you won’t find them anywhere else but as some papers in a drawer in BDO’s London offices marked ‘IN LIQUIDATION’.

      No one has looked at them in nearly 5 years as they’re a nightmare to behold for any right thinking Freemason, plus there’s still a lot of lot of lolly still swishing around that BDO like to mop up into their own basins.

      However, the word is that, following on from their ‘Going Into Administration’ on Valentine’s Day 2012, then ‘Entering The Liquidation Process’ on Halloween that same year, they’re extending us Celtic fans’ raucous hilarity and glee at their ongoing blind stupidity by going for the unenviable treble of ‘Ending The Liquidation Process’ on 17th March, 2017″ better known as ‘PADDY’S DAY’, as we Tims like to call it., and it appears that its bastard spawn of the petulant Sevco child might be following the Oldco’s same route into oblivion and merciless Hell.

      Enjoy the parade!

      I know we all are 😀

      1. Gringo

        Allan, your wee moan comes across as nothing more than ‘But I’ve got a headache’ before you ‘assume the position’ for Saturday.

        Because, as I’m sure you’re all too aware by now, your new team are getting humped.

        Again! 😀

        (Your first name’s no Scott, by any chance, is it..?)

    8. Acciea1874

      You may be correct Allan, but when faced with a lie how many times should they confront it? For the sake of the truth everytime it is uttered. When faced with corruption and cheating how many times should it be confronted? Every time it is committed.
      As for failure in Europe CFC earned the right to be there by fair means. If TRIFC get there next year will you speak up for truth and fair play?

  8. Cortes

    Looks like El Gran Warbo has been leading certain people on a lively dance…:

    jota nf (baile español) (Spanish dance) jota n
    La jota se canta y se baila acompañado de castañuelas.
    The jota is sung and danced accompanied by castanets.

    1. NevilleC

      Jota is a very good wide player. I am a Brentford(also Celtic) fan. I am a season ticket holder at Griffin Park and an in law by marriage of a Lisbon Lion.
      Jota will command at least a £5m tag if Brentford are to sell because he had a very good season and a half previously in London. Most Bees fans are anxiously awaiting his return.
      Where on God’s earth will Sevco get £5m? Flying kites or what?
      Thanks Phil, keep up the pressure. It really gets to them!

      1. michaelcraven1

        Not all,but probably most,I mean they even have little,or no sympathy,for their own.Look what happened to Graham Spiers,to name but one.And he was a loyal man,but you cannot speak or write of them,that way lies your appointment at the dole office.Well,either that or a change in your gainful employment circumstances.

    1. The ROOF, the ROOF and nothing but the ROOF

      Celtic fans have displayed various humourous banners at “Rangers” games over the years.
      In addition to banners at this Hogmanay game fans should wear hard hats by way of showing concern about the safety of the Ibrox roof above them.

  9. Agrajag

    I assume Mr Ashley would require certain conditions before considering rapprochement. The main one being a list of names he would not be willing to do business with.

    Actually that happening, certain people leaving, and getting a decent working relationship with Ashley would be the best thing for the PLC.

    I don’t imagine King et al would just walk though. What’s best for the PLC / Club clearly comes second to what is best for them personally.

    Yuletide Felicitations, Phil. Thanks for everything this year, keep up the good work.

  10. Celt

    This is becoming so frustrating and boring. Four years we have been told this club is going to be finished but it still keeps going. It’s hurting us more than anyone now. Rangers fans seem to be laughing at us waiting for then to collapse and then nothing happens.

    1. Mr Smith

      Rangers fans laughing at “us”…are these the same rangers fans that support a 4 year olf club and were taken for £30M in a share issue ?

      The laughter is one way, I can assure you of that.

  11. SucculentLambStinks

    Liar Liar pants on fire….cannot fix the roofs because we’ve no money to hire…day by day it’s looking dire…I cannot stop laughing I’ve sprained a rib….at all the fools being led by king glib…

  12. Sanfrancelt

    Don’t know all the ins and outs of it but I would have thought big Mike would have several reasons that would make him keen to side with the rebels here.
    If the new club go under again does that free them from his merchandising contract ?
    Great opportunity to stick it to King by helping show him the door!
    Again, I could have the wrong end of it here and am all ears on how you think it will play out.

    1. DhenBhoy

      IF the club goes under, Sevco lose all the IP rights to the Rangers brand … such as it is.

      This is the reason King has not pulled the plug already.

  13. michaelcraven1

    Hi Phil,
    I hope your Yuletide went swimmingly.

    Maybe the Magic Hat has conjured up a couple of unruly doppelgängers,that are jetting here and there without his knowledge.Poor wee dopplegängers looking like The Admiral,jeez oh,some peepel have nae luck at aw.

    I liked the numbered pages crack and the solo,one word sentence;Shame.Shameless might’ve been more apt.

    The light will shine bright on this roof issue!!!!,indeed,it may be the first of many that starts a dominoe effect on the many and varied other issues too.

    Keep you and yours warm n well,thanks Phil.HH HNY ☮

      1. Pudding n Pie

        Not forgetting the original Murray-con itself.

        Does this now qualify as ‘The Ruby Murray Con’, as their spicy event horizon approaches ..?


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