The denouement of the Barton affair

Bom Dia de Lisboa!

Despite what you might have read in the stenography times, Monsieur Barton will be paid off in full.

Only the timing and terms remain to be thrashed out.

The player will get every penny that he is due and his registration will be released by the Holding Company Vehicle.

The Engine Room Subsidiary wants to pay him on a monthly basis until the end of his two-year contract.

However, Joey’s people want everything paid up by the end of this season.

There is a possibility of a rapprochement, say payment in full by Christmas of next year.

Moreover, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Holding Company Vehicle offered a private apology to the player for the pain and distressed caused to him.

If indeed his medical details were leaked to an obedient stenographer then that ticks the box for ‘weapons grade stupidity.’

To replace the French-speaking midfielder will mean that two players will have to go out the door.

That is because the Scouse Sartre remains on the wage bill.

Therefore, the Admirable Warburton could lose three players due to this ill-conceived acquisition.

Moreover, it is my settled view that the ex-City trader was no the author of his signing.

Yesterday at the Web Summit I sat in on a discussion about data analytics in the football transfer market.

As I listened to the panel, I couldn’t get Joey and Sevco out of my head.

To the untrained eye, the four-year-old institution looks to be a complete shambles.

As ever this Fitba Samizdat is brought to you free of contaminated lamb and without any harmful POR additives.

Thanks for your support in keeping this show on the road.

Now dear read I have to get back to this Web Summit stuff as I’m wearing the NUJ jersey in the media village.

31 thoughts on “The denouement of the Barton affair

  1. There is NO Old Firm

    I read the twitter link from Phil re:IbroxNoise, and really, apart from hysterical both in terms of laughter and nervous displacement, what can honestly be said about this lot?
    Clearly they have reached a point where it’s finally beginning to dawn on at least some of them that all may not be well with their club. Even so, utter delusion still courses through their veins, writings and broadcasts, and with that comes mass confusion and contradiction.
    With this particular rant, we need go no further than the writers first sentence for evidence of denial and delusion. “It IS not often a signing IS made which GOES against nigh-on everything Rangers STAND for”.
    The writer is referring mainly to the J. Barton situation who we know has NEVER signed for “Rangers and everything they stand for”.
    The club in liquidation simply did not have this player but the writer is convinced that J.B. is a bad part of some 140+yr history!
    So, if we put the sentence in the correct tense it should read “It WAS not often a signing WAS made which WENT against nigh-on everything Rangers STOOD for”.
    Then perhaps the rant begins to make sense……signings against Rangers (IL) standings can surely only refer to such as Le petit merde (there’s the French connection to J.B), Amoruso, Negri etc. and others who may have been of a certain religion. Remember scarf burning, season ticket ripping?
    The writer continues to suggest the whole current set-up may not be up to requirements, although there is no real in depth explanation of what the requirements and expectations of a 4yr old club should be. May I suggest financial prudence might be worth considering!
    The whole thing is just another demented rant which is all about it being someone else’s fault, be it manager, assistant manager, scout, criminal chairman etc. so much so, the writer eventually admits to “hating the post” as it apparently sounds like something an “East End blogger would write”, whilst immediately denying they ever read anything by said bloggers.
    That’s a bit of a shame really, for if they checked into the “East End bloggers” sites, they may just see what marvellous entertainment they bring to the rest of Scottish football whilst they stumble around making fools of themselves in the business world, in the courts, in the newspapers (who will ever forget “wealth off the radar”?) on broadcast media (huffs with BT, BBC), social media and, last but by no means least, ON THE PITCH!
    Rock on Joeys’ new book.
    Phil’s introduction to the piece was his classic “Oh Dear”. I just bet he was pissing himself laughing at the time.

  2. joe mccormack

    Yep, Lawwell must be shaking in his boots at the latest deal struck by the Govan giants……Sportslobster indeed.
    It’s indicative of the likely financial benefits of the deal that the media is not throwing about silly numbers like £5 or £10m, as is their usual MO.
    Perhaps with Level 5 full on with containing the Joey fall out the new deal has escaped their attention and will be subject to catch up PR.

    1. dancingbhoy

      From the Daily Radar .. Looks like SportsLobster are trawling the depths and posting losses as big as Sevco.


      “This is substantiated with our high display ad click-through rates, which far exceeds all industry norms.

      “A percentage of the advertising revenue that is generated within the Rangers fanzone will go to the club, a model we are looking to repeat elsewhere.”

      Sportlobster launched in 2013 and has yet to book revenues.

      The company noted operating losses in the 2015 year to December narrowed to £4.38million, down from a £6.53m operating loss in 2014.

  3. Cortes

    The old CIA expression “terminated with extreme prejudice” comes to mind: well done the learned friends of Joseph Anthony Aloysius Barton!

  4. Rosco

    Your kidding yourself on there if u actually believe that,he has already agreed a deal to go back to Burnley in January and will be paid up his wages till then.please stop talking crap you are only making yourself look more foolish.when are the lights going off now? is it tomorrow??I’ve been hearing it’s every other Friday from you for the past 2 years.U should start writing fairytales because u seem to be very good at it writing nonsense to make folk with the brain capacity of a 6 year old happy!!!Give it up its getting boring…………………

    1. Professor Pat Pending.

      So Rosco, you advocate believing what you read in the Scottish press do you?

      That’s the very essence of “Govan Gullability”

  5. Crosshaven

    I hope Joey is smart enough to get his total money due ring fenced otherwise he will be just another creditor when the CVA hits Sevco.

  6. Veritas

    Meant to add as a trivial postscript .Imagine spending £2million and the net result is you are humiliated on the field by CFC , are miles behind in the league and all you are left with is a coffee machine that doesn’t work

  7. Veritas

    Your input is astonishing . The MSM would have us all believe Barton has effectively been bulleted on TRFC’s terms .
    Your news is based on outstanding journalism and should be tomorrow’s screaming headlines in every part of our media .
    It is quite simply a shocking indictment of the management of that football club and will have obvious and serious implications on the playing budget. It is a huge story !
    As per every single issue of substance wrt TRFC ever the media will don their cowardice cloaks and spin and twist BS and or also just go silent ( as per LNS, Res 12 etc ) on the subject due to total embarrassment and their fear of the reaction of the TRFC extremists

  8. Joe Clark

    They terrminated his contract this afternoon, and [email protected] twit feeds said that neither of the 2 parties will comment further.
    Oh such Joy !!

  9. Lewis


    I trust the weather in Portgual is treating you well?. Theclimate in Glasgow is mixed – some area’s have sunshine whilst others have dark clouds gathering.

  10. joe mccormack

    Whoever is making the executive decisions at Ibrox has to be commended….for their stupidity.

    The club is a shambles from top to bottom and if a new manager comes in he will have to work with what he’s got…..minus any ‘big fee’ departures in January.

    So much for Jackson and Jack ‘ s campaign to see Joey depart with 8 weeks wages.

    The payment terms in 3 tranches tells all about the state of finances in Govan, they are circling the drain and if SDI win in court in a few weeks time I wonder if Big Mike will settle for a payment plan.

    It’s a mess from top to bottom.

    What’s the chances of finishing in the top 5 and Europa Cup participation next season………..the panacea for all their ills according to King. Given that the club fails UEFA FFP criteria on at least 2 rules, how the hell is the SFA going to swing it with the accounts in the public domain?

    1. Pat Nevins' Barnet

      Are there actually enough ginger bottles in Glasgow to cover Joeys pay off? Maybe that’s why it’s in instalments !

      As for playing in the Europa League :

      The SFA will employ that tried and tested method known as …
      ‘ Pure Brass Neck’ in order to initially drive things forward. This will be smoothly conducted under supervision of the Scottish media using a mode called ‘ssshhhhhh!’ . If necessary a diversionary tactic can be brought into play in the form of legal argument “Aye but!”

      Any questioning ( if even aired) will be shot down with a battery of “rightful place”, “most successful team”, “just jealousy”, “worry about yer ain club!” , “punished enough” and other such “Am tellin’ ma Da!” type replies that have been previously employed.

      Then again , maybe Red Bull will smooth the way with their countless billions?

  11. Hugo67

    So all the MSM pish about £150k for the wee leave is just that ….pish. Jackass headline tomorrow then is “Le petite merde

    Oh dear.

  12. theclumpany

    I look forward to the Daily Record and Evening Shark-Jump telling us that Barton left humiliated and impoverished!

    I am glad it is all over as it was getting very wearing watching him ‘inch’ towards the door. Very very slowly and in sharp contrast to the momentum suggested by the papers… (If I may, here are some views on that!)

    I hear Barton now plans to supplement his income by selling off his coffee machine and other ‘treasured’ Sevco memorabilia…

    Enjoy Lisbon!

    1. timalloy67

      Talking of the Daily Record today they went with a headline “Rangers sign deal with Sportslobster” (yes THAT was my first question WHO??) but when you read the whole article, TRIFC will receive a percentage of any advertisments on their fans sites, only problem being this company made a LOSS of £3.8million in 2015, previous to that they went into Administration and were bought over for a POUND.
      I cannot put my finger on it but SOMETHING sounds familiar….


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