The Grail Knights of Planet Fitba go forth

All of Planet Fitba was saddened in December 2012 when one of the greats of Scottish sports journalism left the stage.

It was all the sadder because of the tone of his valedictory piece.

Of course, it was always likely that a man of Mr Traynor’s talent would be snapped up and indeed he was.

While employed as the in-house communications supremo at the Holding Company Vehicle he demonstrated a lightness of touch and a nuanced approach to managing the media landscape.


Clearly, Charles of Normandy was wise in appointing such an adviser.

It was something that the founding father of Sevco had to get right.

Indeed, it would have been disastrous if the man with big Yorkshire hands had appointed some blundering bully who was entirely out of his depth.

Fortunately, that didn’t happen.

Of course, it was inevitable that Mr Traynor would ultimately outgrow the Engine Room Subsidiary.

After less than a year in the coveted post, he left with the best wishes of his employers and a basket of assets.

Since then he has taken ethical excellence in Fitba PR to an entirely new Level.


However, I still believe he was a loss to mainstream sports journalism in Fair Caledonia.

There are times in the past few years when I think younger, less experienced reporters would have benefited from his wise counsel.

Therefore, I was heartened to hear that he recently made himself available to mentor a select quartet of sports journalists.

Perhaps Chris Jack, Keith Jackson, Martin Williams and Richard Wilson, will share with the rest of us what enlightenment Mr Traynor revealed to them at their conclave.

As well as holding forth on the importance of ethics in journalism I am told that the wise old owl discussed the sad state of Scottish football.

For Mr Traynor the administrators of the National Game in Fair Caledonia must be like Lee Wallace’s breakfast:

World class!

I’m told that so enthused were his young charges that they immediately set forth like Grail knights on a noble quest.

They now see their divine task is to rid Scotland of chaps who are not fit to wear the legendary SFA blazer.

It is my belief that this the origin of the Fitba fatwa on Mr Regan and his cohorts.

Of course, Mr Traynor’s clarion call to the assembled journalistic band of brothers was for the good of the game generally and not for any sectional interest.

Is it any wonder that he is missed from the elite ranks of Scottish sports journalism?

15 thoughts on “The Grail Knights of Planet Fitba go forth

  1. David Harkins

    I really don’t know what is causing it, but the picture of “the grail knights, C G and J T” makes me smile, makes me come over all aglow!! Whenever I need an emotional lift, I need to look at this pair of corrupt warped duo. Carefully hidden individual agendas burning in their black souls, smiling masks of faces, scheming, scheming bitter mercenary fools!

  2. Mach1

    Obviously they want a deadgend running the SFA in time for the Supreme Court ruling next month. Loss of big tax case will strengthen calls for titles to be stripped. Solution is to support non-deadgends in the Turnbull Hutton mould to run SFA and ensure the penalty fits the crime. This should suit the men in black as they are used to giving Rangurs unexpected penalties. By the way, where is Walter these days?

  3. The Green Jhedi

    Taken from The Synagogue of Satan by Andrew Carrington Hitchcock (2007)

    1881 – In America, John Swinton, then the pre-eminent New York journalist, was the guest of honour at a banquet given him by the leaders of his craft. Someone who knew neither the press nor Swinton offered a toast to the independent press. Swinton outraged his colleagues by replying,
    “There is no such thing, at this date of the worlds history, in America, as an independent press.
    You know it and I know it.
    There is not one of you who dares to write your honest opinions, and if you did, you know
    beforehand that it would never appear in print. I am paid weekly for keeping my honest opinion
    out of the paper I am connected with.
    Others of you are paid similar salaries for similar things, and any of you who would be so foolish
    as to write honest opinions would be out on the streets looking for another job. If I allowed my
    honest opinions to appear in one issue of my paper, before twenty-four hours my occupation
    would be gone.
    The business of the journalists is to destroy the truth, to lie outright, to pervert, to vilify, to fawn
    at the feet of mammon, and to sell his country and his race for his daily bread. You know it and I
    know it, and what folly is this toasting an independent press?
    We are the tools and vassals of rich men behind the scenes. We are the jumping jacks, they pull
    the strings and we dance. Our talents, our possibilities and our lives are all the property of other
    men. We are intellectual prostitutes.”

    1. Mr Mah Jest Stick

      That might well be the most damning, and most insightful, quote I’ve ever read on journalism, so cheers for that, Jhedi.

      It confirms every one of my early suspicions as to why I should NOT pursue what ought to be the fine craft of journalism as my profession.

      And, when I did finally begin contributing articles to any MSM, they were rejected outright, not for being badly written or misguided, but simply because they contained the truth, although that was never the reason given by the editors.

      If you think the Rangers/Sevco business is one mighty conspiracy, try the mainstream media for size.

      As Phil outlines above, these men are happy, indeed, are trained, to lie through their over-white teeth to protect their masters’ interests and will repeat the lie like an idiot nodding dog on amphetamines and Duracell until such a point where you just want to put your head through a wall to escape their babbling.

      Sevco, lies & idiot tapes; odd that all 3 share one common denominator …

      That’s why Phil’s work here is so essential, because the mainstream is designed to strangle anyone who knows how to ‘Ask the right questions and demand the right answers’, as Larry King so duplicitously claims as part of his RT schtick.

      The truth is, if you ask the right questions, you’re already gone.

  4. There is NO Old Firm

    So according to Oxford English Dictionary the best new word of the year is “post-truth”. As everyone knows, neither post nor truth are new words and simply hyphenating them and putting a political spin on it doesn’t make it so.
    However it got me thinking about the sort of appalling all round media garbage we’ve had to endure for several years now and how we could describe it if asked. Happily, many of us have chosen to do the right thing by laughing off their nonsense and in many cases no longer buying the rags or listening to the equally pathetic radio phone-ins. The rags are well on their way to that great media room in Hell where I’m sure they will be able to get all the exclusives they want from Satans’ son who’s been down there since 2012.
    So my recommendations for Oxford for consideration next year may contain the following. ….

    DIAPISH : noun, Simultaneous explosive combination of diarrhoea and pish which is recklessly
    thrust into the public domain, either verbally through TV or radio, by social media, but
    mainly appears in Daily tabloids after being forced upon non-trying “journalists” with
    no interest in putting in the required effort. The main source is usually a PR Fud, but
    sometimes, club directors will supply DIAPISH.

    TRAYNORGASH : noun, Almost identical to above, however, delivered with an extra sense of ego
    and self-importance. Generates much derision and gales of laughter. Never to
    be taken seriously or considered true.

    Deadgend : noun, Manager or player, who in some simple minds may have achieved legendary
    status during their time at a club which no longer exists, ie…DEAD. Hence Deadgend.
    Mainly recognised now for being wheeled out to deliver DIAPISH as they are generally
    doing nothing else.

    JACKASSKEECH : noun, An utterly useless vehicle which serves no real purpose other than to
    collect the works of others and claim it as exclusive to them.

    So if anyone knows the contact details for Oxford submissions department!

    1. Mr Mah Jest Stick

      Aye, they put ‘Post-Truth’ up there to make sure the idea gets into everyone’s heads and we start to accept it as the norm, as in,

      ‘Aye, the media’s been caught lying again but it’s okay, we live in the Post-Truth era now, so such a level of diapish is absolutely fine.’

      Another two big words doing the rounds this week have been ‘Fake News’, all because some guy (woman, shill?) set up a Trump page parody on Facebook and everyone believed it, that is, they couldn’t tell the difference between Trump’s actual quotes and a spoof, which, admittedly, is no great surprise with rent-a-gob extremists like that.

      But the reaction has been yet another PR exercise on behalf of the media, who’ve been asking the genuinely fake question of

      ‘What can we do as a society about such dangerously FAKE NEWS that leaves us thickos clueless as to whether we’re being tricked or not?!’

      This is also a distraction to lend the MSM credibility.

      Even that sneaky twat Zuckerberg made a comment on ‘clamping down on this sort of thing’, like he’s taking the piss out of poor Dougal & Ted, although he hasn’t said or done a damn thing about the plethora of open porn pages all over his site.

      So it appears that he condones us having a chug but not having a laugh …

      Anyway, the ‘fake news’ garbage is a bit rich indeed coming from today’s international MSM and is equally designed to make us believe that they are providing us with ‘REAL’ news, when the reality could not be further from the truth, as can be seen in the quote above, from the book Synagogue Of Satan.

      And that’s precisely what the mainstream is, a backward church full of liars and cheats, men who would rather die than admit the stuff Phil says has substance.

      Realise that every news story that ever goes public is a hoax, or a twisted half truth at best, and you’re on the path to understanding the incredible breadth and depth of the scam in it.

      Aprons on, shake a shakey handy and nips oot for the lads.

  5. Alfie Birches

    Couldn’t be that the SFA in order to relieve pressure over the licence issue to rfc the former club are preparing for title stripping and are not prepared to comply with the sub letting of Hampden for peanuts.
    Strange how this is working out. If the SMSM play it correctly they can force SR out under the guise of the licence issue itself and then point the finger at Celtic.
    Have to say I haven’t and won’t read the DR article.

  6. bhoy1967

    Brilliant,the rabid dog that the SFA took in and tried to sanitize has turned on its benifactor,you couldnt make it up,i see another series of the walking dead based in the mount florida area of glasgow hitting our screens soon,be afraid,be very afraid..

  7. Pat Nevins' Barnet

    Let’s hope that if the SFA have lost interest in their unruly ‘Pet’ … It doesn’t end up at the footballing equivalent of the PDSA ( read as SMSM). A quick trip to the nearest vet for a ‘humane jab’ would be far more appropriate.

    Do smell fear coming in on the wind from down ‘ibroxway’? As sure as Jabba will be deflecting questions at the AGM.

  8. John S

    The Black Book that covertly runs Scottish football (not just football journalism). The arrogance of which was exposed in the ‘Barton Exclusives’.

  9. Cosmichaggis

    Not surprised Phil, thank you for confirming what we already suspected, or should I say already knew full well but had not hard evidence. SFA not playing ball with Sevco anymore, or do they need to get rid before they spill their guts about the whole Sevco situation?


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