The robotic future of stenography

On this day five years ago, The People were dealing with a new reality.

The historic event that I had told them would happen, happened.

I wasn’t surprised, but they were stunned.

Of course, it is always good advice to never waste a disaster.

It could have been a new start for them as a sub-culture.

However, as I had suspected they sank to the challenge.

I had warned throughout 2011 that there was an impending financial iceberg that would hit the Ibrox club before the end of season 2011/2012.

The response of The People was to snarl and smear.

Your humble correspondent was, after all, a Fenian.

Guilty as charged.

Then the dignified fantasies became seriously dark and defamatory.

The objective was to make me Do Walking Away.

Perhaps they though if the messenger was silenced then bad shit would not happen at Ibrox.

It was the collective reasoning of a toddler.

Moreover, the local media did not disappoint me either.

They immediately went into “it will be ok don’t worry” mode.

Here was what I offered five years ago, on this day.

I called it for liquidation and you can read that here.

The stenographers were busily chirping away that the Rainjurrzz would get a Company Voluntary Agreement (CVA).

In short, their collective view was that the club established in 1872 would successfully emerge from the administration process.

Because of this, the reportage had not slid into the legal fantasy of Holding Company Vehicle or Engine Room Subsidiary.

No, it was a football club that was in administration and it would be a football club that would survive that process.

Liquidation meant death and therefore The People were soothed that this appalling vista would not happen.

Dear reader, colour me consistent, but I reported that a football club called “Rangers” would go into administration in season 2011/2012.

Then, on this day five years ago, that liquidation was inevitable.

It is worth re-visiting this today because the same people at the same sports desks still see it as their duty to sooth The People.

I don’t.

Undoubtedly, I have caused that sub-culture some angst over the years.

However, my weapon of choice has been the truth.

That is a commodity with magical qualities that the stenographers avoid like the league.

I am in Dublin for the rest of the week at the Dublin Tech Summit (DTS).

It proves to be a fascinating couple of days.

Quite literally it is a window into the impending future.

Artificial Intelligence (AI) looms large as does robotics and the internet of things.

I’m writing this in the media hall and looking up at a presentation on the big screen.

There was a jaw-dropping item where a software engineer, blind from birth, had invented an app that could read faces in a meeting.

It can tell him that he was sitting across from “a man in his forties looking surprised“ and a “woman in her twenties looking happy”.

Quite literally for the first time, he could “see” people in a meeting.

I was in my twenties when I tread Alvin Toffler’s game-changing vision in “Future Shock” and “The “TheThird Wave”.

However, I think the tech is catching up with what he brilliantly imagined.

Now, I am not sure if The People would pass the Turing Test, but I’m sure these smart folks at the DTS could come up with a dignified algorithm that could produce Off The Radar copy.

After all the objective is stunningly simple:

Just feed The People with any feelgood shite that you are given in a press release.

I reckon this guy in Dublin could do that job…

For the avoidance of doubt, the future of real journalism will still require humans.

Therefore, it is the intention of your homo sapien correspondent to continue.


30 thoughts on “The robotic future of stenography

  1. Glasgow Southside

    Today a Sevco spokesperson said that there had been many expressions of interest in the managerial vacancy, to my mind this raises two questions:
    Should any of those who have expressed an interest be serving managers will they immediately be sacked by their current club for lack of commitment ?
    Should Sevco consider applications from any manager currently employed who has shown such lack of commitment and must therefore be an untrustworthy wretch?
    Just saying!


  2. Noel Skytrot

    A.I. is not for William, it’s N.I…no intelligence. In fact, any sort of intelligence is way beyond Williams remit. They are the people and we better all remember that. They probably have a sneaking admiration for you, Phil. Oh wait, yer a taig, that won’t do. More power to your elbow. Keep giving it to them, they deserve it.

  3. Rich

    Not related to anything secco, but toddler was a genius, so visionary and ahead of his time.

    Then again his quote along the lines of “the illiterate of the future won’t be the person without the ability to read and write but the person without the ability to learn” (I’m paraphrasing wildly there but you get the gist I’m sure) is probably hugely appropriate to the Scottish stenographers and the majority of “the people”.

  4. Mr Smith

    Here’s a non-AI thought…Maybe this whole charade has been scripted so the embarrassment of putting another manager on 12-24 months gardening leave was avoided and “ra pee-pull” think the board are standing strong.

    Hopefully AI will never get to point of RC, real cynicism.

  5. Sugar Ray

    As long as King is at the helm of this club, sevco is destined to achieve nothing. The club had a chance of real investment via Mike Ashley but King and the gullible fans put that idea to bed. I recall chants of “if ye hate Mike Ashley clap yer hands” ringing out at those futile protests. Oh well, there’ll surely be another major investor along in a minute. Won’t there?

    The similarities between this club and the previous one which entered administration and then liquidation is uncanny. At what point do generous board members (or others) decide to stop financing the club? If\when this happens, the same old problem of having no credit line from a bank will send this club into the abyss.

    1. jc

      I can actually remember Fergus getting not the best of welcomes at Parkhead one Saturday afternoon on flag day. These guys get some stick but stick to their plan. Thank God he did he is a Saint now!

  6. Avid Reader (@6019Kilo)

    The “Turing Test”? The Peepul can’t pass the Turin Shroud Test. It wasn’t the Deid Club that was resurrected but a Fraknesteinesque monster created from a basket case of assets that was badly stitched together and left to run amok in the Scottish football leagues. Hopefully the “Monster” will be put out of its misery fairly soon and the rest of us can sleep easy in the knowledge it has departed this mortal coil for good.

  7. Sevco Scrutiny

    “”Warburton, Weir and McParland added via Wednesday’s statement: “At this stage, for legal reasons, it is inappropriate for us to comment in any great detail on our departure from the club.

    “It is a matter of surprise to us, and to the LMA, which is advising all three of us, that despite its detailed public statements, the club has not answered key questions put to it by the LMA, in writing, requesting an explanation of why it suggested that we resigned from our positions.”””

    RIFC PLC (Rangers(sic)) is a disgrace to World Soccer. The SFA and UEFA need to take action.

  8. Steven R

    Phil – I suspect that you are being unduly kind to your, ahem!.. fellow “journalists” in the SMSM…

    I fail to see the benefits of Artificial Intelligence over Absolutely No Intelligence at any of these Scottish news outlets, other than to finally possibly witness publication of the truth in respect of the shenanigans within the Scottish footballing environment. Perhaps I’m missing something, or being extremely wary that the chosen AI robot being akin to that of HAL, the electronic wonder depicted in the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey?

  9. Succulent Humble Pie

    That’s a very entertaining piece Phil.

    There was one prediction of yours that didn’t quite come to pass – you often referred to the Kübler-Ross model of the five stages of grief, which your appreciative readers will know are:
    1) Denial
    2) Anger
    3) Bargaining
    4) Depression
    5) Acceptance

    I have witnessed denial, anger, bargaining and depression followed by interchanging denial and anger in perpetuity.

    I don’t believe The People will ever reach the stage of acceptance and that is a shame because it is my humble opinion that only when they do accept this is a new club and they are not the old Rangers can they actually move forwards.

    1. Fergus Isle

      I thought this most apt for the gullies, though I suspect they’ll never reach it.

      As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one.
      You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.’

    1. An.Lann.Gairdean.Laidir

      They did not resign.
      Sevcos interpretation of their position as being equivalent to resignation merely provided ammunition for negotiations re financial settlement.
      Legally its an open and shut case. .The involvement of the ENGLISH league managers association suggests warburton and co are privy enough to the cosy relationship between the scottish police and judiciary and all things sevco to ensure proceedings are enacted south of the border.

    2. Fergus Isle

      So Warbler, the Besmirched One and the Poisoned Brown Envelope are still claiming that Sevco is a ‘club’ with a ‘long history’

      “It (has) been an absolute privilege to work at a club that is so rich in tradition and history”.
      (BBC article, above)

      In that statement alone, they’re still promoting the lie, and on Dave King’s behalf, at that, and, much as it pains me to say this, I would laugh out loud should the ‘club’ fold into oblivion without paying them a penny.

      Because these men are continuing in the overall greater scam to dupe the, admittedly, Ever-Ready-To-Be-Duped Sevco support into believing that this is still the ‘same club’ as the one that wished ‘the new Rangers all the goodwill in the world’ and is still, somehow, awaiting Full Liquidation in a drawer in the BDO filing cabinet.

      Every single individual who promulgates this ongoing lie deserves all the flak that such tale-spinning will bring them, and anyone who continues in such mendacity cannot, in any way, be described as a ‘decent man’ of any kind, no matter how polite their phone manner.

      Scottish football is rigged, it has been rigged since the start, but in Oldco’s favour, and the sole reason Lawell and all the other Tories on the Celtic board remain mute in the face of such corruption is because they’ve been told, at their own Lodge meetings, to keep their traps shut and enjoy their current financials until every last blue penny has been squeezed out of every last gullible blue hound, until there’s nothing left to wring until they’re as dry as a used-up shammy.

      And, in a way, you can’t really blame them, as the Ibrox support really is the endless flowing cash machine that just keeps on giving and giving and giving.

      They can’t say you, or we, didn’t warn them, Phil, but I do wish they would listen to us for once, instead of always reverting to ‘shoot to kill’ the messenger.

      It’s like they live in a very small circular room and spend their days going round and round, looking for the corner.

  10. bennybhoy

    Very well put Phil. You are certainly going to be busy for the next few months. As you said the MSM are a total joke. I’m sure they have their reasons. The governing bodies, Now that’s a different story. Why have they not acted accordingly. Why the cover ups, why no due diligence( even now), There should have been a total clean up from the start of this whole sorry saga. No lessons have been learned. And we are even more Paranoid.

    1. Wessex

      I think paranoid is the wrong word Benny, that implies that you know you’re being cheated but can’t prove it. If anything the last five years have confirmed without doubt that when they’re experiencing difficulties the establishment close ranks and help them out without any consideration of whether it contravenes rules, equality and integrity.

      I think vigilant is a better word mate!

      1. bennybhoy

        I get your point. I was trying to be sarcastic, looks like it didn’t come across too well in print. Have had loads of arguments with sevconians recently. You just can’t get through to them. Total waste of time, gullible fools.

  11. Pete

    They have learned nothing in 5 years Phil, the current debacle with Warburton et al is evidence enough
    Is another period of administration inevitable?

    1. Evolutionary Biologist

      My researches have shown that in order to be able to learn, you need a functional neural network unencumbered by extraneous biasing influences.

      In other words – in the first place you need to have a brain (unsurmountable hurdle number 1) that has not been addled by various noxious substances (unsurmountable hurdle number 2) and most importantly by foul and pernicious prejudices and poisonous doctrines (unsurmountable hurdle number 3).

      Any one of these hurdles will tend to prevent learning – having all three impediments means that the process is futile. Learning is impossible for such primitive specimens of biotic detritus.

      All scientific enquiries would indicate that any such species is doomed to extinction. This can only be a good thing.

  12. shiltrum

    Hi Phil

    Thats a fine picture of MrJackson you have there no doubt fully loaded with Artificial Intelligence and ready to go.



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